Twilight Reimagined Enters the Twilight Zone

Life and Death: Twilight ReimaginedLife and Death: Twilight Reimagined by Stephenie Meyer
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I’m not going to even bother with a synopsis. Everyone knows this is a gender reversal of twilight. When I first heard the idea, I thought it was a horrible one, but then I reconsidered and thought maybe it could work if it was done right. It only took a few chapters for me to realize the rewrite was a disaster. But I soldiered on and read it until the bitter end – cringing all the way.

There were two major problems with this rewrite. First, Beau was not rewritten to act more male. Like another reviewer mentioned, it seemed like Meyers did a find and replace “Bella” with “Beau.” You now have a male character that acts like a female. Ugh. He’s clumsy, un-athletic, not even portrayed as remotely good-looking. Even if I could get past the fact that he acts like he’s in middle school, then you have the portrayal of Edythe to deal with. Frankly, she’s creepy. She treats Beau like a child. She’s worried that he’s cold, she’s worried that he’s not being safe, she’s worried that he might be hungry. At one point, she even buckles him into the harness seatbelt in Eleanor’s Jeep. Um…I’m pretty sure any 17-yr old boy can figure out how to buckle himself in a harness. Then she leans over and kisses him on the cheek? I was waiting for Beau to say, “Thanks, mom.” What’s worse, she undoes his harness for him when they arrive at their destination. At one point she says “Now, be a good boy.” Argh. I could go on from there with her hand to his forehead, to Beau grabbing a pullover before he leaves the house so that Edythe won’t worry about him getting cold. And I’m supposed to believe there is this inexplicable attraction going on here?

There is an alternate ending which does nothing to make up for the problems with the rest of the story. Trust me, by the ending you don’t care because you just can’t accept that there’s a romance between these two people. It doesn’t feel the same as Twilight, not even close. It’s a shame that Bella and Edward couldn’t just stay Bella and Edward. This version is too weird and too much like a ninety-year-old (Edythe’s real age) is in love with a twelve-year-old.

Revel in the fact that I’ve saved you from hours of reading and watching one of your favorite books be ruined forever with the reimagined Twilight. Not only that, but also the hours you would no doubt spend asking “Whyyyyyyyy?”

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The Geography of You and Me – Book Review

The Geography of You and MeThe Geography of You and Me by Jennifer E. Smith

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I was so excited to read this after enjoying “The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight”. It just didn’t have the same punch and because of that I was slightly disappointed.

The Geography of You and Me is a contemporary love story of two teens Lucy and Owen. They have a chance meeting one night in a stalled elevator during a blackout in New York City. They make a quick connection, but soon after, end up in different places with completely different lives. The rest of the book follows their separate journeys with both of them struggling to forget about the other. This gives the story a kind of melancholy feel. You experience their attempts to move on with other people, their continuous moves to new cities, Owen and his father grieving for the loss of Owen’s mother, and Lucy’s life which mainly centers on hands-off parents who jet set around the world without her. The classic rich girl, poor boy.

The premise is cute, but the characters didn’t pull me in. I found I didn’t love them or hate them. I think the reason I couldn’t fall in love with these characters was twofold. One, it felt like their connection was more like a friendship of kindred spirits. And two, they were pretty much miserable the whole book. That made it hard to want to turn the next page. The fact that they were apart for most of the book also made it difficult to make the romance believable because there was nothing there for them to build upon except for that one night.

I did appreciate one literary tactic used near the end of the book where chapters got shorter and shorter in order to convey emotion. That was rather brilliant.

I also love the fact that Jennifer E Smith writes clean teen fiction. She’s found a wonderful niche for young, hopeless romantics that are waiting for their own great love story.

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